A cup of coffee, relaxing music, papers, a blue pen, and a very quiet night was the combo of tonight. One of those nights I got used to, since the Israeli F16s didn’t roam in the Gazan skies for the past week because of the heavy rain.
It was very calm yesterday, and I was enjoying the relaxing music as I was sipping my regular mug of coffee. I was full of inspiration that moment, I grabbed my pen and a paper, and started sketching, trying to understand what’s going on within my mind. I couldn’t come up with anything understandable as I sketched, even I myself, couldn’t understand what’s on my mind.
What I know is how it felt; it was like if I was on an adrenaline rush, eyes wide open as if I was afraid of something or sensing a surrounding danger, over a billion thought raging within my mind.
A few minutes later, I stopped sketching; I gave up on that because it wasn’t getting me anywhere that’s when I opened my word processing application and all I could do was stare at the empty white page thinking of a way to break the silence around me with the sound of my fingers playing on the keyboard like a pianist playing his favorite piece.
A few minutes later I managed to break the silence with one sentence, thoughts got suspended by a call, hung up, and started staring at the same white page again thinking of what to write next, it was too soon, it happened the moment I started to write my first letter unleashing my thoughts and emotions that run through my veins to my fingers bursting with rapid key presses generating a new post similar to the ones you’ve always been reading here on my blog. It was an explosion!
I’ve heard thousands of explosions before, close and far, but this one was different, I literally jumped off my chair, the explosion was too loud that I could even hear it while I had my headset on playing music. Too strong that I could feel every thing shaking around me, as if it was an earthquake, not forgetting goose pumps too.
It’s one of the times my heart beats race, and I feel like my heart is in my throat. And I start paying attention to every sound around me, as I hear the Israeli Apaches and F16s roam in the liberated Gazan skies, throwing a party of their own, on our land, fireworks, explosions, fire, and blood.
Of course, I lost my inspiration, and felt completely lost. Then, out of no where, I started writing this post, I decided to write how it felt, putting every body in the picture, so that they at least would know how it feels to be here, without having to experience all that. Although experiencing something isn’t like hearing about it. To each his own, and so are opinions and points of view.
I started to feel the same feeling again, when this quiet night started, a strong adrenaline rush, and the urge to write. So I started tweeting breaking news, and keeping everybody updated, as everybody showed solidarity as Gaza Strip was being raided by the Israeli air force that doesn’t differ between a civilian or a militant, to them, we’re all the same, Palestinians.
As you all know, the early-morning raid on Gaza Strip resulted the burn of a medical warehouse, and a nearby carpentry, leaving 10-11 casualties behind. This is what you would think is the sum of the loss for tonight’s raid, but thinking about it again, despite of how much money did the owner(s) of the warehouse and the carpentry lose, think of what did at least 2-4 families loose. 10-11 casualties, imagine how many families depend on these casualties’ jobs and afford the living fees, being a casualty could mean that there’s a possibility to die, live with a disability, or even take so much time before you can completely recover and be able to find a job to pay for living fees and bills.
It’s very sad when you think about all that, and happy you’re not the casualty of tonight’s raid. It’s very sad when you realize how bad some people live, not being able to live in apartments, or even have electricity. Could you imagine living with no electricity? No Internet? Not even a TV? Well that’s the least you could imagine. I am leaving the imagining door wide open for you, imagine how bad things are, and most importantly, we’re still happy, we live, love, and laugh, we sacrifice, we resist.
All of that because we exist, because it’s our land, the holy land, and it’s our duty to fight.