Between Sadness And Boredom

Sadness is an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, helplessness, sorrow, and rage. When sad, people often become outspoken, less energetic, and emotional. Sadness can be viewed as a temporary lowering of mood, whereas depression is characterized by a persistent and intense lowered mood, as well as disruption to ones ability to function in day-to-day matters.

Frankly speaking, I have been thinking whether I should write this or not, and if I did, publish it or not? But It’s just recently that I have decided to let it out because, I can no longer keep it inside of me eating the living flesh and throwing my bones to hungry feral dogs. I am a human being, and I have feelings.

Feelings have mixed on me, and I can no longer differ between sadness and boredom because, either one leads to the other. Sad because I am way too much bored to get myself entertained by any/all means necessary, and bored because I am no longer able to make myself happy.

Colors of sadness are everywhere around me Blue, Grey, and Black. Inspire of the presences of other colors that do exist, the earlier three are dominating. To me, the reason(s) that lie/s behind my ever-renewing sadness is/are yet to be discovered-which is not likely to happen at all- and, no matter how hard I strive to discover it/them I always come to the same result, “FAILURE”.

Assuming that you think you can guess at least one of these reasons, allow me to tell you that this has nothing to do with anything that’s probably going through you’re mind. How did I know? Say that I just happen to know that. And yes, I am a minds reader!

Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in their surroundings.

To those of you who don’t know, I live in Gaza, a blessed land on Earth, and typically, you wouldn’t know what does boredom have to do with being in Gaza?

Gaza Strip |ˈgäzə; ˈgazə| A strip of territory in Palestine, on the southeastern Mediterranean coast, including the town of Gaza; pop. 1.8 Million. Administered by Egypt from 1949 and occupied by Israel from 1967, it became a self-governing enclave under the PLO–Israeli accord of 1994 and elected its own legislative council in 1996. Ten years later, its own sons who still spread hatred, greediness, and hatred among their brothers, sisters, elders, and kids occupied it.

Forcing crazy-and-unaffordable taxes here and there seizing every chance out there offering itself to those who look for it in complete desperation and hopelessness forced by the hardships they’re going through because of what’s been going on for years, long years.

And to be honest, I am bored of all of this, I am bored of this situation, I am bored of this life, my bitter coffee I sip every evening accompanied by a few doses of nicotine through my cigarettes branded “Lucky Strike” hopefully I would get that lucky strike soon. I am bored of the music I listen to, my complaints; I am bored of people who forgot how to end a conversation without complaining and crying the hardships, Cafes, the streets, my room, my clothes, and myself. This list can go forever, yet I tried to mention the main things that bore me to the fact that I keep thinking of leaving and never coming back.

Unlike sadness, boredom is caused by known yet countless reasons. And I know life out there anywhere isn’t any better, but to a Gazan, that’s heaven in Dunya!

Alhamdulillah for everything. And I am glad of the way I am living despite the fact that I hate it.

Nader K.


6 thoughts on “Between Sadness And Boredom

  1. OMG! I know wt it means having this feeling of inertia, being locked in a besieged area, getting bored of things you’re accustomed to doing on a daily basis….etc.!
    However, you need to refresh yourself, reconsider things, reset your ultimate goals, rethink of your future … and re-do many many things…! Remember that, with much hope, stamina, perseverance, you’ll get whatever you want. You just need not to give up or give-in. Keep moving on!
    God be with you and grant you the satisfaction.

    Chin up! ^_^

    1. WOW! You’re still reading? Hahaha!
      Well, Honestly, I know that we’re both are Gazans so, whatever I do, is pointless! Hence, the only solution I see is that I leave Gaza for a while (say 20 years LOL!) and see how things go (in case I ever get the chance to get outta here aslun!).
      And oh by the way, I neither give up nor give in 😉 And that’s why I keep on writing.

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